Dec 31, 2011

Go Small with Amazon Prime

You need a couple of SATA cables so you go to Amazon and find a  2-pack for less than $3.00.
Yep. It's a thing.

Shipping to your home would cost more than $3.00, and you would have to wait up to a week to get them (also, you are too lazy and/or cheap to drive to the local Best Buy and buy them there for $6.00).

Add more stuff to your order. Let's see...what to get? Say..what's this? A 12-pack of Worthington FriChick? The premiere product in the canned vegetable-protein-and-egg-whites-based chicken-flavored food product industry? Selling for less than $60.00? SOLD! Totally worth it? Probably not. All you know is you now have enough in your cart to qualify for free standard chicken, er, shipping. Yeah, it will take five days to get here, but man, that compressed vegetable-egg product is gonna be sweet (and by 'sweet', you mean 'wet and salty').

Join Amazon Prime and get your $3.00 cables delivered in two days for no charge. Duh.

This young man was voted
'Most Likely to be Recycled'
Now, I know what you’re thinking. You're are thinking of that dream you had last night. You know, that really weird one where you were giving an oral book report on Are You There God? It’s Me Margaret. in front of your 5th grade class? Except all the students were replaced by inanimate carbon rods and your teacher was naked and consisted entirely of existential angst? Yeah, that dream. I know all about that one. You really should talk to a professional about that. But that's no all you are thinking...

You are also thinking, ‘How can some Amazonian Autobot get me free 2-day shipping on a something so cheap?' Well, Danny Doubtalot, if you would stop having creepy teacher fantasies for five minutes, I’ll tell you what Amazon Prime is.

Amazon Prime is the code name for America's daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra, a ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world. Wait, no....that’s not right. Forget that.

What Amazon Prime actually does is provide:
  • Free 2-day shipping on any "Prime Eligible" item (most things are)
  • Overnight shipping upgrade for $3.99/product (even on Saturday!)
What's really great is you can get the above benefits for free using a Amazon Mom or Amazon Student membership. Sure, you need to have had babies or be some freeloading student to qualify but, given your recurring dreams, you probably are so go for it. The benefit gets longer if you are willing to part with $79 a year. If you have a paid Prime membership you also get:
Now, if you are don't own a Kindle or watch a lot of streaming movies (and if you qualify) just go for one of the free memberships. If you are the kind of person who only makes a few Amazon orders a year, then you probably shouldn't bother with Prime at all. 

But for me, with my numerous Amazon orders for small things several times a month, my Kindle, and my incredibly sedentary active lifestyle, a paid membership to Amazon Prime is more than worth it.


Thaydra said...

Would I still qualify for that MOM one if my kids are 11 and 14 already? I mean, I'm still a mom.

I'd go check for myself, but I'm too lazy, and I'm currently busy with a naked teacher....


Etherknight said...

Oh yeah, it's for anyone (even Dads!). It's basically just free membership for anyone. I think they just use the whole 'Mom' thing to make it sound like they are doing some special favor for Moms.

Here's the direct link to read more (and sign up!):